I'm A-L-I-V-E!

Ha!  It has been almost a month.  But I will blame that on being busy, Thanksgiving, and pure laziness.  In fact, I have spent the last two days scrubbing the kitchen and living room floors with my hands to remove all traces of holiday grime.  I'm even debating NOT decorating my house for Christmas.  Granted, this only means putting up one metal snowflake but I'm that lazy.  I don't want to do anything holiday like.  I type that while wearing Christmas themed Family Guy pajama pants.  I can't win.  Ha!

Well, the last time I posted, I weighed in at 223.2.  No tears or disappointment was had.  I was actually expecting that number.  The problem was that I had become complacent.  I'm so used to seeing 2 20 something that it has become the norm.  The light came a week later, right after Thanksgiving.  We had made a ton of food, drank a lot of non-water liquids, played games, and pictures were taken.  Let me rephrase that:  pictures were taken of me in unflattering positions.  I'm talking about hunched over, fixing my plate pictures.  Photos with me seated and my shirt, unbeknown to me, is lifted in the back and all my flat tire middle is showing.  The icing on the cake was the family photo.  It was blurry but you could clearly see the Thanksgiving meal protruding from my tummy, over the waist band of my pants.  But I have such a pretty face!  When's it blurred out, there's not left to do but notice the rest of me.  Boy oh boy I am really disappointed but Rome wasn't built in one day, right?  RIGHT?!

So, to avoid a complete meltdown and harness this agitated energy, I decided to replace volleyball with running.  I haven't ran in years.  However, I discovered the couch to 5k program and I'm trying it out.  I made it through the first week and weighed in on Thursday at 220.8lbs.  The ladies were excited that at least someone lost something after Thanksgiving and I could not have felt better.  I know that running will at least start pushing me though my lack of motivation.  We shall see...

Here are two random songs that I have been listening to lately.  I love them both!

Imogen Heap "Hide and Seek"
Adele "Rolling In the Deep"

I'm a fool! Wait. Am I a fool?

Song of the moment "Fool for you" by Cee Lo Green.  Excellent song.  Excellent.  It's one of those songs that goes straight to my heart.  I think I've listened to it about 20 times in the past 24 hours.  Ha!

So!  It has been a while since I have posted last.  Not much has changed in the past two weeks.  I had a dark day last Thursday and its that time of the month so I know that the scale is going to be atrocious this Thursday.  Oh well.  Its all in the journey, right?  Volleyball is going to end next Monday so I have to figure out another exercise regimen to follow.  The next major sport is going to be softball and that isn't until the spring.  Maybe I'll step up my walking routine and see what happens.  

Oh!  I did go to Baltimore last weekend and it was the most amazing weekend I have had in a while.  I got to hang out with Sarah, drive around the city, eat tons of food, and see family and old friends.  It was an amazing experience.  However, I had to think about if I was missing my old life in Baltimore or missing the life I could have had in Baltimore.  The jury is out but I'll be glad when life leads me back to Maryland.  I miss my friends and family dearly.  Its nice to be around unconditional love.  However, I really love my life at the moment so I can't complain too loudly.  It's not like anyone is listening anyway...

On a different note, I have to talk about this article that was featured on VSB.  The article details the guys perspective of why he thinks certain women have luck dating and others don't.  He even approached it from the point of view of two similar women.  There are five points and my favorite ( favorite = cold bucket of ice thrown in face) is "5. Some women are walking, talking, self-fulfilling (and self-pitying) prophecies".  This point sums up why I will stop complaining about being single all the time.  I have let my single status define me.  It's time to let that go.  Anyway, read the article.  Its amazing!

~Tiff

Okay...cupid?

Ha!  I signed up for Ok Cupid last night.  Not excited.

Today was another weigh in and I didn't do too bad.  I gained 0.8lbs for a grand total of 219.4lbs.  Not too shabby since my attitude went into the crapper this afternoon.  That time of the month is right around the corner. Yeah!

Happy Birthday Patrick and One-Eyed Willie!

Man oh man!  I have been neglecting this blog like something serious!  Many things have happened since the last post!  My birthday has come and gone.  I managed to say good bye to 25 and hello to 26 with many friends through out the weekend.  The proudest moment came on Thursday.  I lost 4.6 lbs!  Ahh!  How amazing is that!?  With that, I now weigh 218.6 until the next weigh in.  I've been a little too happy about the weight loss and the birthday celebrations.  We shall see how the weekend really fared this Thursday.  It's been an amazing week so far as well!  I'm going to Maryland for a wedding on Friday and going to see my BFF Sarah!  I wish Diana could be there too!  I've been moved to a very exciting project at work and Walter has received some very good news!  

Now, I just need to focus on staying the course.  I was very disappointed over the past several weeks since I was putting in all this work and not seeing any results.  With this lovely surprise, I calculated that I have managed to lose 10lbs in the last five months which is an average of 2lbs per month.  That's not bad.  Not too shabby!  Let's see where I'll be in the next five months.  Let's just hope we make it through the holiday's!  Ha!

It feels so good to be real

Get Outta My Way!

Ah!  Great Monday that followed a spectacular weekend.  It kind of makes starting a new work week a million times better.  This is going to be an interesting week because MY BIRTHDAY IS COMING!  Woo!  I'm excited!  I managed to survive the weekend food wise but alcohol consumption is slowing my progress by a lot.  I need to steady the pace but this week was an anomoly.  I went out Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday nights.  However, I did manage to lose .4lbs at my last weigh in so I need to keep up the pace.

Which brings up my topic for today:  get out of the way.  With the last few days upon me as 25, I've reflected over what has happened over the past year and I have to say that I am truly amazed.  It has been one heck of a year but I find myself being really hard on myself.  That has been the topic of several phone conversations this weekend with friends and family.  So, my first step was to put up a real profile picture of me.  I have a bad habit of putting up ridiculous photos or pictures that have nothing to do with my face because I feel awkward.  I know I'm not butt ugly but I don't know.  My self esteem lacks in certain physical and mental areas.  Speaking of mental shortcomings!  I went to a women's seminar today and they stressed the importance of getting over the "imposter syndrome".  This happens when you think that you have to do everything right before people discover that your an imposter.  It floored me that every lady (there were about 60) in that room had the imposter syndrome.  Even people that I want as mentors!  It just reminds me that having the right frame of mind and attitude can do wonders.  Once you step out of your own way, you will be amazed at what happens in your career.  

Kylie Minogue "Get Outta My Way" 

So with this parting word, I decided that year 26 is going to be the year of service.  Service to myself, friends, family and the community.  I'm going to start tutoring next week (once I get a student) and volunteering at the local United Cerebral Palsy center.  I must keep up the weight loss and open the blog to more people (after cleaning up the format).  Being more involved in my friends lives and keeping in touch with family more.  These are some lofty goals but I know that I can do it once I get out of the way!  Ha!

Close-bus syndrome

One of my favorite blogs at the moment is Very Smart Brothas.  They have a very amusing view of the dating world, pop culture, and random happenings in the world; especially black culture.  One of my favorite articles is about "close-bus syndrome".  Its an unfortunate situation that I figured out I'm in right now.  Granted, I'm not in a relationship or close to one but I know that I am in this category.  The CBS occurs when you are waiting for a bus but the one that you want is running late or hasn't come yet.  So, you decide to take the bus that will get you close enough to your final destination instead of waiting for the right one.  Its a temporary inconvenience that you rather endure than just waiting.  I'm working on the "waiting" part but I know that with the last few guys I've gotten to know, I've been the close bus.  However, I was doing the same thing to them.  I keep finding myself not taking a risk on anyone because I think that someone better is right around the corner.  Maybe he is but he might be standing in front of me and I'm too distracted to take notice.  All I want is a dryer.  Ha!

Anyway, I feel that I can apply this to my weight loss journey as well.  I keep hoping that the big loss will come immediately and I will reap the benefits but I had to take a minute and think about that today.  At this time last year, I was getting ready for the reduction surgery and daydreaming about how great my life is going to be with smaller boobs.  I will be able to run!  Swim!  Wear strapless dresses!  Only wear one bra!  Lose 25lbs instantly!  I was so excited that I completely overestimated the results.  Now don't get me wrong, I am thrilled with how everything turned out but my physique hasn't changed that much.  Instead of losing 25lbs I have lost roughly 15lbs.  I have had to learn how to lower my expectations because my goals were too unrealistic in a short time frame.  And at times I feel like I have taken the close bus because I didn't reach my goals fast enough.  "This is good enough" is not the best frame of mind to have at the beginning of this journey and now that I think about it, I feel like getting off the close bus now.

Erykah Badu:  Window Seat

P.S.  Amazingly, I finished today at 29 points!  Progresso Light Chicken Soup is the best and instead of walking, I'm going salsa dancing.  Yessss.  :-)

Boyzzz

I wish I knew how to embed youtube videos.  That would be amazing.  Anyway, you will just have to enjoy this link of MIA "Boyzzz".  It was my song of the day.  I woke up to it blasting in my head and drove home from yoga with it on repeat.  Granted, I almost ruined the good vibes by listening to "The Scientist" by Coldplay.  Bad choice.  Just like milk.

Well, Biggest Loser is on and I'm texting Sarah and talking to Diana which was a very good conversation.  I just have to say that I love you both very much.  Enough of the sentimental stuff!  This is what I ate today:

2 cups coffee with creamer = 1pt
1 egg roll = 3pts
1 cup fried rice = 8pts
1 cup general tsos chicken = 16 pts
1 bag popcorn = 2 pts
12oz cherry coke = 3pts

33 points for the day.  But, at least I tracked.  As Diana just mentioned to me over the phone, just make a change if what you are doing isn't working out.  Maybe you need to do three days of yoga a week instead of two.  Plus, Sarah mentioned that if you just taking a walk does wonders.  I've been upping the walk this week.  Its small but eventually I'll get back on the ball again.  This journey is turning out to be a lot harder than I thought emotionally and physically.  Maybe I should train for a 5k?  I hate running...ha!